Captain Alice: Rogue and Ruffian

I am very angry with at my Mummies. This was not a playdate. They suck.

I just overheard Uncle Scott on the phone with Mummy. He said I "came through the surgery" well. WTF? Surgery?

He said he did the flush and took my teeth out.

*feels around with tongue*

HELP!

He also said I had a hole in my soft palate which he sutured up. So THAT'S why that itches. He says Mummy can come and get me tomorrow after 9am. Wait. They're not going to come and get me tonight? This is awful. They put me through all this and I can't even sleep on my own Mommy's pillow?

Which one of you is going to adopt me?

My Mommies are always on the computer and I can never get to it, so I wanted to let you know that I killed them. Can cat litter get blood out of a carpet?

I no longer need a laptop.

*hic*

Since I got back from the evil place whose name we do not speak, I am feeling much better. I'm eating, playing, cuddling, and I've even found my voice. My Mummies can't shut me up! Meow }:) Hehehe. Anyway, I thought it was time to share some pictures with you all, since my Mummies bought the new camera and have been filling it with delicious pictures of me.

( Here goes nothing )

I am home. My mummies made it really hard for me to stay angry for very long. They repented, and with as much rubbies, scritchies and general lovin', I'd say I am pretty happy.

So, the lowdown from the evil people. Not only am I doomed to breathe funny for life, resigned to taking hardcore drugs to be okay, but somehow during all of this, I ended up with a double ear yeast infection. wtf? I mean, that's a human woman thing, right? I wasn't messing around while I was in the hospital... so... what is this about? I'm all itchy. It sucks.

So, thanks for all of you who tried to bust be out of that place. I felt all your love and concern. I also don't care very much. No offense. I'm a cat. Get serious.

Ok, I'm going to curl up and take a nap on MY bed and then maybe eat something before I take another nap, and perhaps I'll take a nap before I get my nap in before they get home. *sigh* Life is back to being good.
*snnniiiiifffff*

...and I'm still pissed. The wireless was down all morning in my cage. I couldn't even surf the net to look up ways of putting the hurt on some of these humans. Surf? *licks chops* That makes me think of Ocean Fish. Damn I'm starving.
This place smells weird. I want to go home. Still smells weird there, but familiar weird.
I have an obnoxious spaniel on one side causing deafness in my ear, and a horrifyingly coiffed poodle on the other, sucking the sight from my good eye. I hate it here.

Note to self - Throw up, Pee, and Poop on the mummies as we ride home today. It's the least I can do. Fuckers.

They lied to me. The bitches lied to me. They said it was "Mother and Daughter day", so me and Yank Mom were headed for a trip. "It's a surprise," they said. Whores. Here I am, back on fucking vacation, in a cage, surrounded by wussy whining dogs. For christ's sake, guys, suck it up. It's nothing to be scared of, and you should focus all your energy on biting the crap out of your owners when you finally get out of here.

Who knows what they're going to do to me this time? Just because I've been having trouble breathing and have all this wet stuff floating around in my lungs. Sheesh! Overreact much, Moms?


I am one PISSED OFF kitty.

This weekend my Mummies are leaving me. Again. *sigh* I'm so abandoned. I'm feeling creative, and took this shot...



I want to learn how to use the camera properly, so I can sell myself online. You would though, wouldn't you? You want me. Just admit it.



Now I must get to work plotting my reven...oooh! Ocean Fish!

( Quizzy! )

( No studying when I'm around! )

Oh when oh WHEN will my Mummies stop sprinkling this icky white powder on my food? I told Mummy earlier that I think it's coke. NO! I do not have the nostrils to handle that. Gorramit.

*snores*